Frequently asked questions

Is swinging legal in the UK?

Yes. Consensual activity between adults in private, and attending private members' clubs, is lawful in the UK. Venues must still follow licensing and other rules that apply to them, which is one reason reputable clubs take house rules, age checks and conduct seriously.

How old do I need to be?

You must be at least eighteen to join our newsletter or attend any lifestyle event. Some venues set a higher minimum age, often twenty one or above, so check before you go. Expect to show photo identification.

Do we have to do anything at a club?

No. Many people go purely to socialise, have a drink and dance. Nothing should ever happen unless everyone involved wants it to. Watching the atmosphere and leaving whenever you like is completely acceptable.

What should we wear?

Follow the venue's dress code. Evening events often expect smart or glamorous outfits, and sportswear is commonly refused. Spa venues usually provide towels. Read our guide to clubs, parties and events for more detail.

What if one of us is keen and the other is not?

Then the answer, for now, is no. The lifestyle only works when both partners are genuinely enthusiastic. Talk openly, listen carefully and never pressure each other. Our guide to getting started as a couple has suggestions for that conversation.

What is the difference between soft swap and full swap?

Soft swap couples keep certain things reserved for each other, while full swap couples are open to fuller intimacy with others. Each couple decides exactly where their own line sits. See our guide, What is swinging?, for a fuller explanation.

How do we handle jealousy?

Jealousy is common and nothing to be ashamed of. Take things slowly, agree clear boundaries, use a signal to check in during the evening and talk honestly afterwards. If it persists, pause and focus on each other.

Is it safe?

Sensible precautions make a big difference. Get regular sexual health checks, use protection, protect your privacy and meet new people in public first. Free, confidential testing is available through the NHS sexual health services. Our staying safe guide covers this in detail.

Will anyone find out?

Discretion is a core value of the community. Reputable venues ban photography and phones in social areas, and guests use first names only. Protect yourself further by using a separate email and nickname online and keeping identifying details private.

Can single people take part?

Yes. Single women are welcome at most events, and single men at many, often on particular nights or by booking. Read our guide for singles for the etiquette involved.

Do you run events?

Our events calendar is coming soon. Subscribers will be the first to hear about events as soon as details are confirmed.

How do you use my details?

We use your details to send the newsletter and event news you have asked for. We only share your name, email and mobile number with third-party partners if you tick the separate, optional box to allow it, and we never share your comment. You can unsubscribe at any time. Full details are in our privacy policy.

Next: What is swinging?